Re Anne Enright’s article on the agony of clearing the family home (‘Under the stuff I can’t throw out is the stuff my parents couldn’t throw out’, 26 October), I am now 76 and my husband died almost five years ago.
Our house contains things from his family and my family. For a long time, I have hung on to them all – because of sentiment. The children do not want them, and who would want a 1945 contact lens or bottles from my great-grandfather, the drunken vet? Then there are valuable things: the grandfather clock from my husband’s family; the exquisite wool blanket and waistcoat (tatty and ripped) brought back from Afghanistan in the 1970s.
Finally, at last, I am starting the Swedish death clean. It is taking time, because I really want to find the right person to take ownership of these things. I am letting go and there is huge satisfaction in finding the right home for all of these items.
It has been startling how conversations lead to homes – for example, the friend of my husband who, because of his Parkinson’s, moved to an apartment. He mentioned that they would love a grandfather clock. How perfect that the family clock should go to him. A crafty friend took the Afghan blanket to repair and keep. The waistcoat went on Vinted for £2 and the buyer declared that it was the best waistcoat ever!
I have only been able to part with this stuff because I have been doing a lot of somatic therapy since my husband died. It has taken time, but I am dealing with the traumas in my life. Letting go emotionally has meant that I can let go of things – and it is bringing huge satisfaction to me, as well as a lightness.
Lorrie Marchington
Whaley Bridge, Derbyshire